Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
lets start a swedish sibling band together
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The beers last night were like the tears from god
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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