so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Randomize
