I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
