So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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