i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
