...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
