She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
