Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
