So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
