it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize