Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
All the doctor said was why
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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