Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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