I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
