the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just pee around me
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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