barbara walters just said penis...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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