did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
