I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
