Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
