you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
