Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.

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(315): View more from New York

I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...

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(765): View more from Indiana

I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.

(309): View more from Illinois

Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?

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(937): View more from Ohio

Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night

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(860): View more from Connecticut

It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...

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