Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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