i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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