He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
