Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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