Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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