just come out here and I will go home with you...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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