Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
