There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
