Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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