He kissed a someone with a penis
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I am naked and annoyed.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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