I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
