Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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