I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
