I hate all girls vehemently.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
