Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
