I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize