I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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