They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
