I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
