Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
