I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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