I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
