Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
