Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
