I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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