kristin has been a bad kristin
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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