I like to think it a success when the cops are called
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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