My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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