the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
