Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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