I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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