my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
its not stalking. its research.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
