I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
why is half of my head shaved?
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