Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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