You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
