just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
