I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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