none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you didnt know i had herpes?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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