Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
