Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
