nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
