so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
