I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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