I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
